A Year of Change

What a year for changes! At the end of this month it’ll have been a year since I decided to take a leap of faith and joined Fetlife and the lifestyle. I’ve learned a lot in this past year. I’ve had some fantastic days, some not so good days, and some days I had to wonder what the heck I was doing. But it’s all made a huge difference in my life. The things that I’ve learned, not only about the lifestyle, but about me…..I never would have believed it back then! Me, a control freak, who can get pissed off when things don’t go my way, has learned how to slow down and ….. Oh yeah….breathe!!!  Actually, that was probably one of the very first things that I learned…… how to control my breathing and use it as a relaxing technique. 

I learned that just because someone has a kink doesn’t mean that it’s my kink and doesn’t mean that I have to like it nor approve of it. But it is their kink and needs to be respected just the same. 

I learned that I can get naked in front of a group of people that don’t care if I’m a thick woman. They care about the me on the inside and the me in my head, not the me the rest of the world sees as a short fat woman. 

I’ve learned that there is a huge difference between a thud and a sting…..and thuddy works much better for me! I’ve learned that even though I’ve never ever had a massage, that a simple flogging (if you can call it simple) has the desired effect on me that a massage would. I do enjoy the stingy as well, as if I usually have a choice! There are certain floggers and whips that I’ve come to love! And certain paddles that I will always run away from (if not restrained!). 

I’ve learned that I can let go of the control that I insist that I maintain in my life, even if it is only for a few hours a month. The results of this allow me to be me and allow me to relax and …….you guessed it….breathe! 

So many positive changes from one tiny step, all in just a year. I certainly hope that the next year is just as wonderful!