Saturday, August 31, 2013

My Insecurities



One of the things that I’m very insecure on is my body. It sounds so simple, but it’s not. I really hate that in today’s society that people are judged on how they look and not who they are. One good thing about the BDSM community, they are far more tolerant of different body types than the average person. Members in the community are far more interested in YOU. Once again, easier said than done. People are far more accepting of me than I am of myself. Yes, there are days when I look in the mirror and think and say to myself, you look wonderful – go out and have a fantastic day. Other days I can’t even stand to look in the mirror any longer than it takes to get my hair dried! It’s not that I find my body as wrong, just over weight. Yes I know that there are men out there who enjoy a large woman and maybe if I had one of those then I wouldn’t think that I look so bad. And honestly, if you’ve been put down about your looks for literally years, it’s very difficult to drag yourself up out of the hole that you’ve put yourself in, difficult at best.  

I have an extremely difficult time accepting compliments. I know that they are made with the best intentions, but it’s hard to see me as others see me.  

Sometimes I kind of pity the Dom who finds me and wants me for himself, he’s going to have to get passed my walls and to the real me and that is not going to be easy to do. A challenge for both of us! :)

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