One of the things that I’m very insecure on is my body. It
sounds so simple, but it’s not. I really hate that in today’s society that
people are judged on how they look and not who they are. One good thing about
the BDSM community, they are far more tolerant of different body types than the
average person. Members in the community are far more interested in YOU. Once
again, easier said than done. People are far more accepting of me than I am of
myself. Yes, there are days when I look in the mirror and think and say to
myself, you look wonderful – go out and have a fantastic day. Other days I can’t
even stand to look in the mirror any longer than it takes to get my hair dried!
It’s not that I find my body as wrong, just over weight. Yes I know that there
are men out there who enjoy a large woman and maybe if I had one of those then
I wouldn’t think that I look so bad. And honestly, if you’ve been put down
about your looks for literally years, it’s very difficult to drag yourself up
out of the hole that you’ve put yourself in, difficult at best.
I have an extremely difficult time accepting compliments. I
know that they are made with the best intentions, but it’s hard to see me as
others see me.
Sometimes I kind of pity the Dom who finds me and wants me
for himself, he’s going to have to get passed my walls and to the real me and
that is not going to be easy to do. A challenge for both of us! :)
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