Saturday, August 31, 2013

How I got into the lifestyle



Have you ever wondered how people ‘get’ into the lifestyle? I mean some people will tell you that they’ve had these thoughts and urges since like high school or something. Not that I’m saying they didn’t, but did you really know what you wanted in high school? Sex wise I had absolutely no freaking clue! I remained a virgin until I was 18 years old and out on my own. The first few guys I was with….let’s just say that they left something to be desired! Okay, make that all of the guys that I’ve ever been with….all five of them…yup…that’s such a large number! 

Anyway, honestly making a decision to join this kind of lifestyle at a young age is neither here nor there. I honestly had no real idea about it until a few years ago, and I’m no spring chicken! I started reading books by some really good authors and I’d recommend them to anyone. Yes, there was a lot of sex in these books, but that wasn’t what drew me into things. It was the control that the subs have. Yes, I said the control that the subs have, cause let’s face it, they do have the control. They have the control and they give up that control to their Dom/Domme/Top. That is what intrigued me. I am a major control freak! I like to have things a certain way and that’s it. If I’ve made plans and then someone wants me to do something on the spur of the moment…expect a fight! I just can’t do it. I am a major Type A personality! That and I’m a mom….that spells control right there!! So the idea, the very simple thought of giving up that control, even for only a small amount of time, isn’t that something we’d all like to do? 

So I took a gamble and jumped into FetLife and into a local group. Let me remind you, that what you read in books….hello! It’s a book! As much as the authors make it as close to real life as possible, each and every single group is going to be different. I didn’t understand that and I certainly wasn’t prepared for Dom’s to be on my case right away. And it wasn’t only the Dom’s, it was other subs as well. It was like they expected me to know what I wanted and how to go about getting it, all without knowing what I was doing. I expected to be treated with respect and to be ‘coached’ along the way, not put down. 

The first few weeks were very rocky to say the least and I was seriously doubting my decision and was I really doing the right thing or not. Then I decided to go to my first munch. OMG! I thought I was going to be sick the entire drive there and I was scared to get out of my car and the restaurant. Had to remind myself that these were just people! Thank goodness I was able to call on a friend on the drive over, she helped to calm me down. Then I walked in and started the next phase in my life. They were all very nice. The teasing that went on at the table through lunch was actually very refreshing. They were just being themselves and not putting on a show for me. I managed to make it through the lunch and was invited to the party. I thought YAY! Fantastic! On the drive to the party site I called another friend to let her know I was doing okay. I was making it and I was okay. 

I’m not going to tell you what happened at the party cause that’s private. I can tell you that I had my eyes opened. It was really not what I’d read at all! I did learn that I wanted to try more….and I did….at each consecutive party! 

To sum it all up….I have to thank the authors of BDSM and erotica for getting me interested in this lifestyle. And I have to thank my friends who have stood by me through thick and thin on my journey thus far!

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