Have you ever wondered how people ‘get’ into the lifestyle? I
mean some people will tell you that they’ve had these thoughts and urges since
like high school or something. Not that I’m saying they didn’t, but did you
really know what you wanted in high school? Sex wise I had absolutely no
freaking clue! I remained a virgin until I was 18 years old and out on my own.
The first few guys I was with….let’s just say that they left something to be
desired! Okay, make that all of the guys that I’ve ever been with….all five of
them…yup…that’s such a large number!
Anyway, honestly making a decision to join this kind of
lifestyle at a young age is neither here nor there. I honestly had no real idea
about it until a few years ago, and I’m no spring chicken! I started reading
books by some really good authors and I’d recommend them to anyone. Yes, there
was a lot of sex in these books, but that wasn’t what drew me into things. It
was the control that the subs have. Yes, I said the control that the subs have,
cause let’s face it, they do have the control. They have the control and they
give up that control to their Dom/Domme/Top. That is what intrigued me. I am a major control freak! I
like to have things a certain way and that’s it. If I’ve made plans and then
someone wants me to do something on the spur of the moment…expect a fight! I just
can’t do it. I am a major Type A personality! That and I’m a mom….that spells
control right there!! So the idea, the very simple thought of giving up that
control, even for only a small amount of time, isn’t that something we’d all
like to do?
So I took a gamble and jumped into FetLife and into a local
group. Let me remind you, that what you read in books….hello! It’s a book! As
much as the authors make it as close to real life as possible, each and every
single group is going to be different. I didn’t understand that and I certainly
wasn’t prepared for Dom’s to be on my case right away. And it wasn’t only the
Dom’s, it was other subs as well. It was like they expected me to know what I
wanted and how to go about getting it, all without knowing what I was doing. I
expected to be treated with respect and to be ‘coached’ along the way, not put
down.
The first few weeks were very rocky to say the least and I
was seriously doubting my decision and was I really doing the right thing or
not. Then I decided to go to my first munch. OMG! I thought I was going to be
sick the entire drive there and I was scared to get out of my car and the
restaurant. Had to remind myself that these were just people! Thank goodness I
was able to call on a friend on the drive over, she helped to calm me down.
Then I walked in and started the next phase in my life. They were all very
nice. The teasing that went on at the table through lunch was actually very
refreshing. They were just being themselves and not putting on a show for me. I
managed to make it through the lunch and was invited to the party. I thought
YAY! Fantastic! On the drive to the party site I called another friend to let
her know I was doing okay. I was making it and I was okay.
I’m not going to tell you what happened at the party cause
that’s private. I can tell you that I had my eyes opened. It was really not
what I’d read at all! I did learn that I wanted to try more….and I did….at each
consecutive party!
To sum it all up….I have to thank the authors of BDSM and
erotica for getting me interested in this lifestyle. And I have to thank my friends
who have stood by me through thick and thin on my journey thus far!
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