Pain and the Pleasure it brings

When I first started on this journey I never thought that I’d enjoy some of the things that I now do. If you’d of told me that I love being beat with a flogger….and the harder the better, I’d of told you that you were absolutely nuts! But it’s not just the thud or the sting that I like, soft or hard, it’s the emotions that go along with it. Rather the emotions that I’m able to release and have it be okay. I enjoy some of the other whips as well. I don’t know what all have been used on me cause I’m not paying attention! I do love the dragon tail. It hurts but it’s a good kind of a hurt. 

I’ve learned to take that hurt in and accept it and then release it. It’s not always easy to do and it’s not always easy to get in the right headspace. In fact there have been plenty of times where I’ve been so distracted on what is going on around me that it’s been difficult to let go and to concentrate on the Dom that was working on me. He knows that when I get like that it’s time to bring out the blindfold and that will allow me to let everything else go away.

It’s also amazing how easily you can relax and let go when the Dom has a hold of your hair and pulls your head back. And trust me, this particular Dom never lets go until I ‘let go’ and relax and give my control to him. It is very freeing for me. 

I don’t want anyone to think that this isn’t 100% consensual, because it is. If you don’t know the Dom/Domme/Top that you are working with, then you’re going to be negotiating the scene. I have only had to do that once, it was a rope scene with the Dom that I normally work with and another Dom who is really good with ropes. Beyond that, the Dom I work with knows me and he pushes me more and more every time we work together. I’ve been able to take more and more each time and feel such a release after that it simply amazes me. 

Even though I’d read about the sub getting turned on while being beaten, I never figured that that would be the case with me. That’s what I get for thinking! The pain can turn to pleasure and yeah, you’re gonna get wet! In fact one of the last times that I went to a party I was so turned on and He knew exactly what he was doing, and the whole thing sent me into subspace. Talk about a rush! A natural high, it was amazing.