The right to be a submissive

Every once in a while I get an email with prompts for journal entries. Today I got one that said this: 

You have the right to be proud of what you are. Being a submissive is nothing that should ever bring you shame or feelings of reproach. Your submissive nature is a gift and should always be a source of pride and happiness.

I know that for some submissives, this is a difficult thing. In this day and age women are taught to be strong and to be independent. For some, it has cost them jobs and relationships, which is just truly sad. 

For me, although not active in the lifestyle right at this moment, it’s a difficult thing to let go of my every day self and to give that control, that power, over to someone else. There are times when I really crave that though, to just be able to let go – ha! Easier said than done! There were times when I was at a dungeon party where I felt uncomfortable for a good while because I had difficulties slipping out of myself and into my submissive self. The rewards however, were great, when I was able to do this. 

How many of you out there struggle with this?

Decision Made

So I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching and trying to figure out what it is exactly that I want. I know I what the D/s in my life, I’d love to find the right Dom for me, it’s just not happening right now. I want to be a part of the community, but that is very difficult to do when you don’t trust the people in the community. 

Trust is such a huge factor in this lifestyle and when that trust is broken, it’s hard to get back. I’ve learned some things and there’s just no going back from that.

So I’ve decided not to go back to the group that I started my journey with. Although I’m still friends with several of the group members, I just can’t go back when I don’t trust the people there. I would like to, as I really do miss being active in the group, but not at the expense that I feel I’d have to pay. I’d have to pretend that I didn’t know things every time that the group got together and I just don’t want to do that.

Back to the drawing board I go! I know that the right group and Dom are out there, I will just have to be patient. And those that know me the best know that patience isn’t necessarily one of my better virtues! 

Onward to the next stop in my life, wish me luck!